Solving XKCD's not-really-a-puzzle puzzle

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That XKCD comic above is an explicit troll of word nerds like myself. So fellow word nerd Eric Berlin sounded the call and a bunch of us got together on his Facebook post and called XKCD’s bluff. The puzzle doesn't actually have an answer, but what Eric’s post posits is… what if it does? Here’s one of my “answers”:

Live, Aria, Au, Pair, Era all start with two-letter element symbols. Their atomic numbers are 3, 18, 79, 91, 68. Mod 26 to get 3, 18, 1, 13, 16, which spells CRAMP.

The get even crazier from there. (You need to be logged into Facebook to see the thread.)

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